Did your parents ever tell you to stop complaining? Mine did! But, a good complaint that is heard can help you create the lifestyle you’ve been dreaming of. You know, the one that you’re complaining you don’t have?
Look, I am grateful that I wasn’t allowed to complain. It actually taught me to hear the complaint when I said it the first time. So, if I caught myself saying it again I would realize a pattern. And, then because I wasn’t allowed to complain I would see what action I could take to get rid of the complaint.
So, before you think I am perfect and I don’t complain I will admit that I do complain. But, I hear it and I make a decision to explore it or stop. And, because I do it like this I have created a the job I have today, met and married my husband and continue to be in control of what is happening to me.
Want to give it a try?
- Go ahead and complain. Write out all the things that bother you. Even allow yourself to repeat complaints. Brain dump it all. The small things, the big things. Put them down on paper.
- Notice if any of them are repeats. If not just take a mental note of all you wrote down and if you can remember how long you’ve been complaining put that down too. It’s pretty interesting to see how long you’ve been keeping a complaint around.
- When you go into that complaining mode look at your list. Is it already on there? If so, it’s time to have a conversation with yourself?
- Answer these questions: What do you have control over? Can you get rid of the complaint? What would it take to get rid of it? Would you have to let go of? Would you have to quit your job? What does that feel like? Do the options you have make you feel expansive or contractive?
- Choose your choices. We all have choices and staying with a complaint is a choice. And, it may feel like the only option. No problem. That’s so ok. But, instead of complaining about that option how can you find a way to see how this complaint is serving you now.
- Take action. Sometimes you can ditch a complaint quickly, sometimes you have to hold out. But, whatever the action deadline is own it and keep going. Avoid complaining about the thing again even if you have to wait 6 months to take action.
- Repeat as needed.
I used to complain about working too much and feeling like no one appreciated the work I was doing. So, when I heard myself say a similar complaint a few times I asked myself “what if I stopped doing that work?” And, that option didn’t make me feel better. It made me sad. So, I thought about ways that I could make changes so that I didn’t feel like no one cared. I gave myself a start date and away I would measure it and went into action. I don’t even know when I started to feel the appreciation exactly but I will say it must have been quick because I didn’t have to go back to the drawing board.
A friend of mine complained about losing a scarf. And, let me just say that losing anything sucks. I’ve been there. You feel like an idiot for not remembering where you put something or not even noticing that it went missing. But, at any rate, when I hear her complain again the second time I offered her my scarf (it was the same one she lost) and in exchange, I got a date with my now husband.
What complaint could you take action on today? Tell me in the comments below. Or, tag me in your action taking on IG.
Life is full of up’s and down’s but you don’t have to be at the mercy of life happening to you. You can happen to life!